#1 Once you have their money ... you never give it back.
#2 You can't cheat an honest customer, but it never hurts to try.
#3 Never pay more for an acquisition than you have to.
#4 A woman wearing clothes is like a man in the kitchen.
#5 If you can't break a contract, bend it.
#6 Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.
#7 Keep your ears open.
#8 Small print leads to large risks.
#9 Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
#10 Greed is eternal.
#11 Latinum isn't the only thing that shines.
#12 Anything worth selling is worth selling twice.
#13 Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.
#14 Anything stolen is pure profit.
#15 Acting stupid is often smart.
#16 A deal is a deal ...until a better one comes along.
#17 A contract is a contract is a contract, but only with a Ferengi.
#18 A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.
#19 Satisfaction is not guaranteed.
#20 When the customer is sweating, turn up the heat.
#21 Never place friendship above profit.
#22 A wise man can hear profit in the wind.
#23 Never take the last coin, but be sure to get all the rest.
#24 Never ask when you can take.
#25 There's always a ways out.
#26 As the customers go, so goes the wise profiteer.
#27 There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.
#28 Morality is always defined by those in power.
#29 When someone says "It's not the money," they're lying.
#30 Talk is cheap; synthehol costs money.
#31 Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother ...insult something he cares about instead.
#32 Be careful what you sell. It may do exactly what the customer expects.
#33 It never hurts to suck up to the boss.
#34 Peace is good for business.
#35 Caressing an ear is often more forceful than pointing a weapon.
#36 Too many Ferengi can't laugh at themselves anymore.
#37 You can always buy back a lost reputation.
#38 Free advertising is cheap.
#39 Friendship is temporary, profit is forever.
#40 She can touch your lobes but never your latinum.
#41 Profit is its own reward.
#42 Only negotiate when you are certain to profit.
#43 War is good for business.
#44 Never confuse wisdom with luck.
#45 Profit has limits. Loss has none.
#46 Make your shop easy to find.
#47 Don't trust a man wearing a better suit than your own.
#48 The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.
#49 Old age and greed will always overcome youth and talent.
#50 Gratitude can bring on generosity.
#51 Never admit a mistake if they're someone else to blame.
#52 Never ask when you can take.
#53 Sell first; ask questions later.
#54 Never buy anything you can't sell.
#55 Always sell at the highest possible profit.
#56 Pursue profit; women come later.
#57 Good customers are as rare as latinum -- treasure them.
#58 There is no substitute for success.
#59 Free advice is seldom cheap.
#60 Keep your lies consistent.
#61 Never buy what can be stolen.
#62 The riskier the road, the greater the profit.
#63 Power without profit is like a ship without an engine.
#64 Don't talk shop; talk shopping.
#65 Win or lose, there's always Huyperian beetle snuff.
#66 Anyone serving in a fleet who is crazy can be relieved, if they ask for it.
#67 Anyone asking to be relieved is not crazy and must be forced to serve.
#68 Ear stroking will get you anything.
#69 Ferengi are not responsible for the stupidity of other races.
#70 Get the money first, then let the buyers worry about collecting the merchandise.
#71 There's a customer born every minute.
#72 Never trust your customers.
#73 If it gets you profit, sell your own mother.
#75 Home is where the heart is ...but the stars are made of latinum.
#76 Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies.
#77 Go where no Ferengi has gone before; where there is no reputation there is profit.
#78 When the going gets tough, the tough change the Rules.
#79 Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge.
#80 If it works, sell it. If it works well, sell it for more. If it doesn't work, quadruple the price and sell it as an antique.
#81 There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.
#82 The flimsier the product, the higher the price.
#83 Revenge is profitless.
#84 A friend is not a friend if he asks for a discount.
#85 Never let the competition know what you're thinking.
#86 A wife is a luxury, a smart accountant a necessity
#87 Trust is the biggest liability of all.
#88 When the boss comes to dinner, it never hurts to have the wife wear something.
#89 Ask not what your profits can do for you, but what you can do for your profits.
#90 Mine is better than ours.
#91 He who drinks fast pays slow.
#92 Never confuse wisdom with luck.
#93 He's a fool who makes his doctor his heir.
#94 Females and finances don't mix.
#95 Expand or die.
#96 For every Rule, there is an equal and opposite Rule. (except when there's not)
#97 Enough ...is never enough.
#98 Act without delay! The Sharp knife cuts quickly.
#99 Trust is the biggest liability of all.
#100 Everything that has no owner, needs one.
#101 The only value of a collectible is what you can get somebody else to purchase it for.
#102 Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever.
#103 Sleep can interfere . . .
#104 Faith moves mountains ...of inventory.
#105 Wise men don't lie, they just bend the truth.
#106 There is no honor in poverty.
#107 A warranty is valid only if they can find you.
#108 A woman wearing clothes is like a man without profit.
#109 Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.
#110 Only a fool passes up a business opportunity.
#111 Treat people in your debt like family ...exploit them.
#112 Never have sex with the boss's sister.
#113 Always have sex with the boss.
#116 There's always a catch.
#117 You can't free a fish from water.
#118 Never cheat a honest man offering a decent price.
#119 Never judge a customer by the size of his wallet.
#120 Even a blind man can recognize the glow of Latinum.
#121 Everything is for sale, even friendship.
#122 As the customers go, so goes the wise profiteer.
#124 Friendship is temporary, profit is forever.
#125 A lie isn't a lie until someone else knows the truth.
#126 A lie isn't a lie, it's just the truth seen from a different point of view.
#127 Gratitude can bring on generosity.
#128 Ferengi are not responsible for the stupidity of other races.
#129 Never trust your customers.
#130 Never trust a beneficiary.
#132 The flimsier the produce, the higher the price.
#133 Never judge a customer by the size of his wallet ...sometimes, good things come in small packages.
#135 The only value of a collectible is what you can get somebody else to pay for it.
#137 Necessity is the mother of invention. Profit is the father.
#138 Law makes everyone equal, but justice goes to the highest bidder.
#139 Wives serve, brothers inherit.
#140 The answer to quick and easy profit is: buy for less, sell for more.
#141 Only fools pay retail.
#142 A Ferengi waits to bid until his opponents have exhausted themselves.
#143 The family of Fools is ancient.
#144 There's nothing wrong with charity ...as long as it winds up in your pocket.
#145 Always ask for the costs first.
#147 New customers are like razor toothed gree worms. They can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back.
#148 Opportunity waits for no one.
#149 Females and finances don't mix.
#150 Make your shop easy to find.
#151 Sometimes, what you get free costs entirely too much.
#152 Ask not what your profirs can do for you; ask what you can do for your profits.
#154 The difference between manure and Latinum is commerce.
#155 What's mine is mine, and what's yours is mine too.
#156 Even in the worst of times someone turns a profit.
#157 You are surrounded by opportunities; you just have to know where to look.
#158 Don't pay until you have the goods.
#159 The customer is always right ...until you have their cash.
#160 Respect is good, Latinum is better.
#161 Never kill a customer, unless you make more profit out of his death than out of his life.
#162 Even in the worst of times someone turns a profit.
#163 A thirsty customer is good for profit, a drunk one isn't.
#164 Never spend your own money when you can spend someone else's.
#165 Never allow one's culture's law to get in the way of a universal goal: profit.
#166 Never give away for free what can be sold.
#167 If a deal is fairly and lawfully made, then seeking revenge especially unprofitable revenge, is illegal.
#168 Beware of relatives bearing gifts.
#169 Competition and fair play are mutually exclusive.
#170 Never gamble with an empath.
#171 Time is Latinum. The early Ferengi gets the Latinum.
#172 If you can sell it, don't hesitate to steal it.
#173 A piece of Latinum in the hand is worth two in a customer's pocket.
#174 Share and perish.
#175 When everything fails... A.) Scream as loud as you can B.) Run.
#176 Ferengis don't give promotional gifts!
#177 Know your enemies ...but do business with them always.
#178 The world is a stage - don't forget to demand admission.
#179 Whenever you think that things can't get worse, the FCA will be knocking on your door.
#180 Never offer a confession when a bribe will do.
#181 Not even dishonestly can tarnish the shrine of profit.
#182 Whenever you're being asked if you are god, the right answer is YES.
#183 Genius without opportunity is like Latinum in the mine.
#184 There are three things you must not talk to aliens: sex, religion and taxes.
#185 If you want to ruin yourself there are three known ways: gambling is the fastest, women are the sweetest, and banks are the most reliable way.
#186 There are two things that will catch up with you for sure: death and taxes.
#187 Borrow on a handshake; lend in writing.
#188 Never bet on a race you haven't fixed.
#189 Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money.
#190 Hear all, trust nothing.
#192 Never cheat a Klingon ...unless you're sure you can get away with it.
#193 Klingon women don't dance tango.
#194 It's always good business to know about new customers before they walk in your door.
#195 Wounds heal, but debt is forever.
#196 Only give money to people you know you can steal from.
#197 Never trust your customers, especially if they are your relatives.
#198 Employees are the rungs on your ladder to success - don't hesitate to step on them.
#199 The secret of one person is another person's opportunity.
#200 If you're going to have to endure, make yourself comfortable.
#201 The justification for profit is profit.
#204 When the Grand Nagus arrives to offer you a business oportunity, it's time to leave town until he's gone.
#205 When the customer dies, the money stops a-comin'.
#206 Fighting with Klingons is like gambling with Cardassians - it's good to have a friend around when you lose.
#207 Never trust a hardworking employee.
#208 Give someone a fish, you feed him for one day. Teach him how to fish, and you lose a steady customer. (or =>)
#208 Sometimes, the only thing more dangerous than a question is... the answer.
#209 Tell them what they want to hear.
#210 A wife, who is able to clean, saves the cleaning lady.
#212 If they accept your first offer, you either asked too little or offered too much.
#213 Stay neutral in conflicts so that you can sell supplies to both sides.
#214 Never begin a negotiation on an empty stomach.
#215 Instinct without opportunity is useless.
#216 Never take hospitality from someone worse off than yourself.
#217 Only pay for it, if you are confronted with a loaded phaser.
#218 Always know what you're buying.
#219 Possession is 11/10 of the law.
#220 Profit is like a bed of roses - a few thorns are inevitable.
#221 Beware of any man who thinks with his lobes.
#222 Knowledge is Latinum.
#223 Beware the man who doesn't make time for oo-mox.
#224 Never throw anything away: It may be worth a lot of Latinum some Stardate.
#225 Pride comes before a loss.
#226 Don't take your family for granted, only their Latinum.
#227 Loyality can be bought... and sold.
#228 All things come to those who wait, even Latinum.
#229 Latinum lasts longer than lust.
#230 Manipulation may be a Ferengi's greatest tool, and liability.
#231 If you steal it, make sure it has warranty.
#232 Life's not fair (How else would you turn a profit?)
#233 Every dark cloud has a Latinum lining.
#234 Never deal with a beggar; it's bad for profits.
#235 Don't trust anyone who trusts you.
#236 You can't buy fate.
#237 There's a sucker born every minute. Be sure you're the first to find each one.
#238 The truth will cost.
#239 Never be afraid to mislabel a product.
#240 The higher you bid, the more customers you drive away.
#241 Never underestimate the importance of the first impression.
#242 More is good ...all is better.
#243 If you got something nice to say, then SHOUT.
#244 If you can't sell it, sit on it, but never give it away.
#246 He that speaks ill of the wares will buy them.
#247 Never question luck.
#248 Celebrate when you are paid, not, when you are promised.
#249 Respect other culture's beliefs; They'll be more likely to give you money.
#250 A dead vendor doesn't demand money.
#251 Satisfaction is not guaranteed.
#252 Let the buyer beware.
#253 A contract without fine print is a fool's document.
#254 Anyone who can't tell fake doesn't deserve the real thing.
#255 A wife is a luxury ...a smart accountant a necessity.
#256 Synthehol is the lubricant of choice for a customer's stuck purse.
#257 Only fools negotiate with their own money.
#258 A Ferengi is only as important as the amount of Latinum he carries in his pockets.
#259 A lie is a way to tell the truth to someone who doesn't know.
#260 Gambling is like the way to power: The only way to win is to cheat, but don't get caught in the process.
#261 A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience.
#262 No lobes, no profit.
#263 Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for latinum.
#264 It's not the size of your planet, but it's income, that matters.
#266 When in doubt, lie.
#267 Cheating is wrong, but it's good for business.
#268 Latinum is better than everything.
#269 A man is counted by his latinum.
#270 It´s better to have gambled and lost than to never have gambled at all.
#271 There's many witty men whose brains can't line their pockets.
#272 The way to a Ferengi's heart is through his wallet.
#273 Always count their Latinum before selling anything.
#274 There is no profit in love; however, a strong heart is worth a few bars of Latinum on the open market. Keep it on ice.
#275 Latinum can't buy happiness, but you can sure have a blast renting it.
#276 If at first you don't succeed, try to acquire again.
#277 Diamonds may be girl's best friends, but you can only buy the girl with Latinum.
#278 It's better to swallow your pride than to lose your profit.
#279 Never close a deal too soon after a female strokes your lobes.
#280 An empty bag cannot stand upright.
#281 Blood is thicker than water, but harder to sell.
#282 Business is like war; it's important to recognize the winner.
#283 Rules are always subject to change.
#284 Deep down everyone's a ferengi.
#285 No good deed ever goes unpunished.
#286 When Morn leaves, it's all over. [Quark's Rule.]
#299 Whenever you exploit someone, it never hurts to thank them. That way, it's easier to exploit them the next time. [Neelix "False Profits"]